7 Ways to Listen & Learn to be Anti-Racist in Your Business
My podcast, blog, social media and coaching business is about helping You be the Best Boss of You - by creating healthy, productive, self-loving habits and thoughts - so you can make the best life for you and your business.
I advocate for women and girls to strive for positions of leadership - leadership of others to create positive change in our communities - but most importantly, leadership of ourselves. To lead ourselves to make decisions and choices to go beyond the roles and expectations women are brought up to fill, and to become successful in our business lives.
This kind of leadership usually requires speaking up, voicing our opinions, and asking for what we want, however, I’m going to advocate for NOT speaking up right now as a white woman doing anti-racist work.
I want to talk about the importance of listening and learning.
It’s time for we as white women to listen, and listen deeply to Black women, Women of Colour, and Indigenous Women leaders who are showing us the way in the anti-racist work in the Black Lives Matter movement, and the movements for racial justice and equality around the world, and here in Canada.
We have to keep in mind that our discomfort over facing racism is far, far less important than people being discriminated against for the colour of their skin - and even dying.
When George Floyd was murdered, I recorded an episode to talk about the importance of taking action at this time in doing anti-racist work. I did not publish it because after listening to Black women leaders, I realized I was doing it wrong. I was rushing in to fix, to lead, to try to make changes, when what I needed to do was listen to people who’ve been doing this work for years, and are experts in their fields. It was not my place to lead. It was my place to listen and learn.
I care deeply about the Black Lives Matter movement, LGBTQ rights, empowering women, and dismantling the patriarchal, white supremist system we all inhabit, but I’m certainly not an expert in diversity leadership work.
The kind of leadership I can do right now is to listen, learn, screw up and be corrected, and keep trying.
I need to de-center myself from the conversation, admit my privilege in our system and how I benefit, and own the many mistakes I’ve made in my past - and continue to make, as I strive to do better.
Our communities and world will benefit and be safer for everyone, if we as white women learn how to listen and learn, be prepared to be wrong, and do the work. It’s time to listen up!
Pass the mic.
White women have been wrestling the mic away from male leaders for so long, that whenever we’ve got the microphone in our hands, we’re very reluctant to let it go to anyone else - even to another woman. We feel justified in our fight to hold on to the hard won power.
Passing the microphone to Black Women leaders, business owners, and activists to listen to their powerful messages and learn from their leadership on racism and other issues, is crucial to the fight for equality.
We need to take a hard look at who is leading the fight for change, and to accept that we as white women are not qualified to lead the change in anti-racist work.
We can google our questions, and pay for the resources.
We can stop using the excuse: “I don’t know what to do,” and do what we do all the time - google the question: “How to be anti-racist.” Simple. There are incredibly knowledgeable Black Women, Women of Colour, and Indigenous Women who’ve written books, articles, and videos that will guide us to how to make change happen.
We can pay for this resource.
Hire diversity coaches and speakers who are trained to teach anti-racism work.
The Black people in our lives are not there to give us their time and mental energy teaching us. They aren’t there for our personal development. And they aren’t there to speak for all Black people or People of Colour or Indigenous People.
We don’t have to be strong and confident to do anti-racist work.
We can expect to feel angry, confused, anxious, frustrated, grief, loss, denial, disappointment, and fear when confronting a world view that has protected white bodies, and been dismissive and violent toward Black bodies, People of Colour bodies, and Indigenous bodies.
We can do the work anyway. We can process these feelings in our bodies - privately or with a trusted friend. We can learn that to go on social media and cry about how sorry we are, centers the conversation around us, and does not help the people experiencing racism, or help change the system. It’s not about our feelings.
Pay attention to the voices coming to us in print and video.
Who do we hear from in our social media feeds everyday? In our netflix shows? The voices from our bookshelves?
We can decolonize our bookshelves, and buy books that support Black Women, Women of Colour, and Indigenous Women authors. We can read their words and listen and learn from their experiences.
We can ask women to be on our podcast who are Black or People of Colour or Indigenous, and not simply to talk about diversity but for their area of expertise.
We can seek out podcasts hosted by Black Women or Women of Colour or Indigenous Women.
We can follow Black women leaders on our social media feeds, listen to their stories and follow their leadership. We can accept they have the right to call out white women for not doing their part, and get honest with ourselves about where we can do better.
Don’t tone police.
Learn how to listen to the message. If someone corrects us in an angry voice or a voice we’re simply not used to listening to, resist the urge to put our backs up and say: “I can’t hear you when you’re speaking to me in that tone.”
We can understand that Black people have a right to be angry. If our children were being targeted by police to be killed just for being alive, we’d be angry too at the people who are oblivious and going about their lives saying: “It’s not my problem.”
We can challenge ourselves to accept the anger coming our way, learn how to process it, and learn how to listen to the message.
Pay attention to the voices in the room.
Who are we listening to at the conferences we attend? Who’s in the audience? Who are we paying for our services? Who are we contracting with? Who are we doing business with?
Who are we hearing from in our board meetings, our masterminds, and our workspaces?
We need to make it our business that the panels we’re organizing or signing up for have diversity, that our speakers are representative of our community, and that the businesses we support are multi-cultural. And not just to be inclusive but because there’s a wealth of knowledge, expertise, and brilliance to be shared.
Be prepared to be wrong.
We’re going to do anti-racist work wrong. For many women this is the biggest stumbling block and causes us to shrink back - afraid to be called out. Our perfectionist brains swoop in to say: “If you can’t get it right, don’t bother.” It’s the same messaging that affects us in so many areas of our lives.
We can’t let this stop us from trying.
We don’t have to have all the answers. We can do it wrong, get corrected, learn, and keep going.
We’ve been learning how to fail, make mistakes, and beat our perfectionist brain in our business, and our lives. We can apply all those practices here.
Again, our discomfort and feelings are not the issue here. The issue is fighting for a just, safe, and equal society for all.
“Now that I know better, I do better,” Maya Angelou.
